1. |
Lights
03:55
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Wishing the lights would never come back on
I could get used to this, you get used to this,
You get used to it, you get used
Got a lot of water in my blood,
And I’m feeling lightheaded,
Feel like I’m headed into the headlights
When I’m shutting my eyes on the interstate.
We can do this by touch, I know this like the
Back of my hands
But you’re invisible to them, even your friends are deaf
You’re nothing but their lookout
Your map’s littered with thumbtacks
Stuck in places you can’t go back
You don’t show up in photographs
The dog is chewing my to-do list
But I don’t want these notes, I don’t need these notes
I can’t pay these notes
But I’ve been getting jealous of my friends
And how they’ve got no plans or they’ve got big plans
Or they think they understand
Now I’m surfing in my head again
But I don’t hate this land, I don’t mind this land,
I can’t leave this land
They said you’ll go as far, as far as you choose
In any ten directions, but you say it’s been so hard,
Hard just to leave these living rooms.
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2. |
Superglue
05:28
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Superglue
I believe in my body, it hasn’t failed me in a quarter-century
I’ve been to the bottoms of basement staircases and fumbled for lightswitches
And I’ve never fallen so hard I could not resurrect myself and steady
The clanging of pots and pans catch all the falling glass threatening to bury me
And I know you’re mine, but I can’t find you
Those things I put away last night are hiding too
I could put up pictures of you on the internet but that just wouldn’t be me
Instead I’ll eat only leaves, stay clean, and put money into things I can keep
Any more cocaine and I’ll be awake endlessly wishing to switch my dreams
For some with more promise, cause when I’m being honest
I don’t think that I believe the things you used to promise me
And I read your notes but I don’t want to as I peel you from me like superglue
But If I let go I’m the one falling through this terrible net of forgetting my love for you
We’re a failed experiment in alchemy, it’s hard to see our faults when we
Are thinking that we are so elementary. Every time I hear you are still loving me
It’s hard to say that we can’t be, but now I need you far from me
I know you’ve tried to replace me with some strait-laced guy who’s good looking and rich
I want to see him someplace, punch him straight in the face and say happy birthday, bitch
Cause I know you’re mine, but I can’t find you, as I peel you from me like superglue
But if I let go I’ll be the one falling through this terrible game of forgetting my love for you
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3. |
Porcupine
04:10
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Wake up and everything’s where I left it last, never fails to disappoint
The house is shivering with echoes of your breath
I’ve got a gallon left and the Coinstar will carry me through the week
I dream the solutions then I sleep through them, it’s a nightly routine
I owe it to you not to do what I do, but I think I’m too cool to pay my dues
Whether it’s in or out, we’re gonna make it somehow
When I come clean I’ll be unclean to you
The city chicks all frown but her lips turn out as the day fades
The heartbeat of this town is her footstep, and its blood is painted on the roads
I just don’t shave my face when she’s not around
It’s getting out of control, my prickling spine, Porcupine
Slink back to town with my tail at my feet
Stumble through my old haunts
I’m the ghost
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4. |
Stay Away
04:21
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So you’ve got me awake now, what did you really want to say now?
I can’t help but fill in the blanks in my own way now
Cause I’ve been feeling a change now, is it possible
That I’m not worth the pain now?
Or do I not cause you the same agony I used to?
After the overdose, you’re coming down easy
While I’m left alone throwing punches with no receiver
Because you were just too much for me, but barely
And you were almost right on time, but early
And I think of you way too much, or maybe not enough
You’re too close, but I can’t stay away.
You know how I am; I’ve been through worse years,
But it feels like I’m watching my mistakes as I make them
They’re moving like glaciers, inevitably
But you’ve got all the time you need to get out of their way now
In another world I’m always punctual, but when I want to be
Up in those towers, all I can seem to do is sing about them
While you’re facing your fear of elevators without me
It’s 5:30am and you’re about to wake up
While somewhere else, there’s nothing coming out of my pen now
I feel like a volcano; you’re a tidal wave
Stopped in our tracks, there’s no going back to our home states.
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5. |
Español
04:17
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I keep going for the types who invite themselves inside
I guess I’m not the sweep-you-off-your-feet type guy
This one’s got a vintage camera she may never shoot strapped around her
And I never want to work because I can’t buy back the time
I’ve been wasting every day underneath fluorescent lights
At the light, I see you in the coffee shop and I’ve got to stop cause
I’ve got to know if you’re as good as you look
Can we talk about our favorite books, though we haven’t read a word in months?
Maybe you can get me back into drugs, maybe you can be a placeholder
You were cool until you started ditching me
Now you’re out like a light that’s been burnt for centuries
At the bar your friend teased, “se besaron?”
She didn’t think I spoke español
But sometimes telling’s better than the kissing
Sometimes I really am that superficial
I’ll be on an outbound train, you’ll be showering my memory away
She’s got recurring dreams of wrecking somebody else’s fucking wedding
She’s had a little trouble blending herself into her story’s setting
When the rich get divorces, do they split the dogs and horses?
When your lover gets deported, how will you ever be supported?
In the mornings sometimes I’m not really there
When shes telling me she loves me just to fill the air
She might get an arrow inked into her wrist, yeah that would be cool
I say when you leave home there should be a wrecking ball behind you
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6. |
Die Slow
04:12
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I hope you hear this while you’re cooking and you’re crying a little bit
Don’t know why it’s so pleasant just to know you can still feel this
I couldn’t count on you to make me happy, but you’re the only thing I know for sure
It doesn’t solve my situation, but it’s a start
We’ll die more slowly than we ever thought possible
I never wanted to go into space, just fall off the face of earth
Into the safety net of my color and my wealth
Am I just a consumer whore? I always thought I’d amount to more
Will we get to see the end of the world, or just another year after year in review?
Before we die more slowly than we ever thought possible
I wouldn’t hate myself if I lived in California wilderness,
Or anywhere that the people don’t speak my boring language
And I’m making a vow to be better, after I get this next thing
That’s preoccupying me out of the way
And then die more slowly than I ever thought possible
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7. |
Control
04:01
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I want control of things I can’t know, like what’s in your mind
When you’re twitching at night? And I can’t relax until you’re staring back
When I exhale, it’s an animal’s breath,
For once not obsessed with survival, at best.
You make the predators rest in me
Kill the ambivalence, nobody’s innocent
I’ve never been fearless; I’ll shatter that image
Don’t get upset, don’t get obsessed
Give it a rest or get cut again
You make the chemicals settle in me
You bypassed the obstacles, told me it’s possible
We can abandon it all on a houseboat in Canada
The weeks, they bleed, the seasons, they sneak
A garden of weeds, a carpet of leaves
Can you make the sedatives last in me?
Can you make the chemicals settle in me?
Can you make the predators rest in me?
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8. |
Pills
05:36
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Let’s drink some beer and take some pills
Like in the winter, things were simpler then.
Let’s not say how we feel; I’ll throw up Thanksgiving dinner again.
Do we have nothing to show for this?
I brought you coffee and I kissed your lips
Show me the evidence, I still think of you in the present tense
A sunrise in reverse, retracing all the turns
Of the earth spinning backwards
A sunrise in reverse
You’re saying give me something, but I just can’t control my greed
Another day my stomach’s grumbling. It’s not a feeling I can feed
And high school was half my life ago, but I just can’t seem to let it go
I need a new youth, a new you, I need to believe in something true
Decide on a device
Devise a compromise
I might be in a dangerous place, but I am blind so it’s hard to say
My distaste for mistakes despite my appetite for chaos
I know the things that you dream of when you pretend to be having fun
The satisfying crunch of all their bones breaking at once
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